"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it."

                                                                                                         -Bill Cosby

Why did the chicken cross the road?

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes!
The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The
end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath
the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken please?

IMMANUEL KANT: The chicken was acting out of a sense of duty to cross the road,
as chickens have traditionally crossed roads throughout history.

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did
not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any
chickens.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?